You\u2019ve put it off for as long as you could, but it\u2019s time to have \u201cthe talk.\u201d As you think about what to say, your hands get sweaty and you feel butterflies in your stomach. Don\u2019t worry. You\u2019re not alone. When it comes to talking about assisted living with our parents, most of us don\u2019t know what to expect. Will they be upset or scared? Is this really the best option? Am I doing enough for them?<\/p>\n
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It becomes easier to avoid the discussion altogether because we\u2019re uncomfortable with the unknowns. But the sooner you\u2019re able to have this discussion, the better. And by keeping a few tips in mind, you can make it a little easier on everyone.<\/p>\n
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\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n While we tend to build up the assisted living conversation as one big, serious discussion, it\u2019s actually a series of conversations over time. There\u2019s a lot that goes into choosing assisted living\u2026 more than just choosing the right location. There\u2019s the legal and financial matters that have to be resolved, the involvement of various family members that needs to be determined, and the settling of real estate matters to name a few. And that can\u2019t all be resolved in one discussion. Even if you could figure out several things at once, it would most likely make the discussion too overwhelming for everybody involved. Knowing that there are multiple conversations in the process will help take the pressure off as you navigate all the moving pieces.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n So take your time with the process. Start small. One conversation at a time. Get everybody used to talking about these issues. Not everything will be resolved after one talk, and that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Now that you know you will be having a series of conversations, you can prepare ahead of time. It\u2019s a good idea to jot down some key points and questions you want to remember to bring up. Rank those in order of importance. Each ranking can become its own conversation along the path. If a couple rankings are related, they can be grouped together.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n You can also approach your list by considering your desired outcome for each discussion. Once you know that, you can pull in your key points and questions that relate to that outcome. For example, your first desired outcome may just be finding out your parents\u2019 needs and wishes. Your second desired outcome might be to learn more about the financial situation you\u2019re working with. This will help you structure each conversation so that you stay on track and work in manageable pieces.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Be sure to also do your homework about the various assisted living options in your area here in Texas so you can bring tangible information to the table. Have pictures ready, reviews handy, price comparisons, and a list of amenities available. Having the facts ready can help you keep the discussion more objective rather than overly emotional. And don\u2019t forget to notify all family members that should be included in the discussion ahead of time so they can be present.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s easy to view assisted living as the end of one chapter of life. But it can also be a great beginning. Yes, this decision is important and signifies a major life change, but it doesn\u2019t have to be doom and gloom when you discuss it. Start out by asking what your parents envision for themselves in their older years. Chances are, many assisted living options can provide that. You\u2019ll be able to show them exactly how each can meet their vision.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n And beginning these conversations long before your parents ever need long-term care is the easiest way to keep things light. When there\u2019s no immediate urgency, you have the luxury of exploring all kinds of possibilities for the life your parents see themselves living in their older years. The longer you wait, though, the more pressure you\u2019ll feel to make a rushed decision.<\/p>\nBe prepared<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Keep it light and positive<\/strong><\/h2>\n